Braver Angels: Humanizing Politics

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Braver Angels is a national organization working to depolarize politics. A local group started this summer in Dakota County with an upcoming event to help families avoid bitter political arguments as Thanksgiving approaches.

“It’s like this family therapy you have with other people across the aisle,” said Kraig Finwall, the Dakota County chapter co-chair and ambassador for Braver Angels.

When: The Family and Politics Thanksgiving event is Saturday, November 15 from 9 a.m. to noon at Black Hawk Middle School in Eagan.

Why It Matters

Toxic politics have spilled over into families, increasing divides and cutting off relationships. It’s also led to an increase in political violence.

• “We keep on dehumanizing each other,” Finwall said. “That makes it really easy to ignore someone or assassinate somebody.”
• But learning how to have conversations can bridge those divides. As a result, there’s more common ground than we expect.
• “You sit across from somebody who thinks differently than you—and you were told to hate them and they were told to hate you—and you have these really breakthrough moments of ‘Wow, we agree almost totally on this thing,'” Finwall said.

How It Works

It’s not easy though. It requires listening, curiosity, and vulnerability.

• Not changing views: “They’re not there to change anybody’s mind,” Finwall said. “You understand that this person that views things differently than you is a human being and has opinions, and that’s OK.”
• Encouraging conversation: Braver Angels tries to start conversations and offers a framework for how to have those conversations. “It makes people feel better when they’re shouting, but they’re really making it worse,” Finwall said. “It’s a lot more effective to have a civil conversation.”
• Workshops: Based on the family therapy work of Bill Doherty, Braver Angels hosts workshops that teach techniques to encourage listening and understanding. Doherty is the co-founder of Braver Angels and a professor and director of the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota.
• Listen: The conversations require honesty and respect, even in disagreement. The goal is to listen, not debate. “It’s really important to give people that space to say whatever you want and do it respectfully, and then we can have a real conversation about the issues,” Finwall said.
• The challenge: Some issues that dehumanize people—such as trans rights, immigration, abortion, etc.—can be challenging. But Finwall said it’s about vulnerability—humanize the other side so they’ll humanize you. “It’s so hard to dehumanize somebody to their face,” Finwall said.
• But it takes effort: “It works if you work it,” Finwall said. “There’s no autopilot. it’s a conscious decision to interact with people this way.”

Thanksgiving Event

• When: Saturday, November 15 from 9 a.m. to noon.
• Where: Black Hawk Middle School in Eagan.
• What: A workshop led by Doherty to have more civil family conversations at Thanksgiving.
• Register: Sign up online.
• Support: Event proceeds go to The Open Door Pantry.

“You do it right before Thanksgiving, so you’re fresh,” Finwall said. “You go to Thanksgiving and then you practice those skills, and you model to crazy Uncle Larry or Aunt Karen and hopefully they get something out of it.”

Encouraging Conversation

For more ways to encourage conversation, Braver Angels Dakota County meets on the second Tuesday of every month for political conversations (except this month with the Thanksgiving event). There are also a host of other workshops and opportunities.

• Braver Dogs is an opportunity to walk your dog with someone else and have a structured conversation.

“You have these sort of profound moments where you’re talking to people and you’re going, OK, when I was reading Reddit this morning, I thought the world was burning down, and now I’m talking to you, and I have some degree of hope,” Finwall said.

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